Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Rat House Whores - Pak Beng, Laos


A Conversation Recenly Overheard in the Most Disgusting Guesthouse I Have Ever Stayed At

G1 - Girl #1
G2 - Girl #2
G3 - Girl #3
LO - Laos Guesthouse Owner

G1 - What are we going to do? We can't stay here.
G2- It's pretty bad, but all the other rooms we looked at are the same. They're all equally disgusting.

G3 - Yeah, it's only one night. We get back on the boat tomorrow.
G1 - Oh my God! I just stepped in poo. Rat poo! It's everywhere all over the floor! Gross!
G2 -
You're freaking out over nothing...
G1
- Oh my God! Look. It's a rat hole in the wall. That's where the rats live.
G2
- I'm sure there aren't any rats...
G1 - No look! Someone wrote above the hole. It says "RAT HOUSE WHORES". Why would they write that if there were no rats?
G2 - I'm sure that it's just a joke...
G3 - Actually, I think she's right. It does look like a rat hole and someone did write "RAT HOUSE WHORES" above it.
G1 -
(yelling at Laos guesthouse owner) Come here! There are rats in this room. Look.
LO - What?
G1 - Rats. In hole. Look.
LO -What?
G1 - RATS. HOLE. LOOK.
LO - No understand.
G1 - Look at the hole! It says RAT HOUSE WHORES. It says that because that is where the rats live. RATS.
LO - Ohhhhh.....(imitating rat noises) eeeeee eeeee eeee eeeeeee
G2 - Yes. Rats! Bad. We want to move rooms.
LO - No worry. Rats no come at night.
G3 - So there are rats here?
LO - No worry. Rats nice.
G1 - Rats nice? I am worried. If there are rats here I am pretty sure that they will come at night and that they won't be nice. Can you at least fill the hole?
LO - What?
L3 - FILL HOLE. TRAP RATS IN HOLE. DEMOLISH RAT HOUSE.
LO - Ok. Fill hole.
G1 - Oh my God I hate this place.

Five minutes later...

(girly shrieking)
G2 - Calm down! It is just a gecko.

Overheard on the floor in my room when the power unexpectedly goes out in the entire guesthouse...
(scratching noise of claws clicking on the wood floor under my bed)

2 Comments:

Blogger Lisa said...

OH. MY. GOD.
Della, are you kidding me? It's no surprise you didn't mind staying there. Did you feed them like you did when we had mice on Earl Street? Remember you let them continue to eat your food in the pantry without telling anyone we had a rodent problem? Remember when i came face to face with one and screamed bloody murder? I would have died if I were you in Laos. Eww...every hair on my body stood up when i read your blog today.
take care of yourself (please!)
-Lisa

6:18 AM  
Blogger Krystyne said...

Yanno....rats are pretty nice. I had them as pets. But then again I also thought monkeys were nice until one of your last posts.
-Krystyne

11:24 PM  

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